Saturday, June 26, 2010

You can sleep in high heels, attend funerals barefoot ....or, live in the middle.

For those of you who don't remember, I fell in love with these shoes, but alas, I never found them. Bummer! ha ha

It's my prayer that God will help me to express myself well in this blog, because the thoughts behind it become rather complex and can get a bit "muddy" at times.

How many times have I seen the same old behavior from my fellow women? The behavior of going to extremes. I've done it myself, I'm sure, and most likely, so have you. My hope is that being aware and enlightened may help keep me on track to living in the middle. Hopefully I can inspire you to do the same.

There is a beautiful medium between vanity and self neglect. The key is in finding and residing in that place. It's where God wants us to be. (You can quote me on that. It may be the most profound thing that I've ever written!)

Sleeping in high heels:
This is obvious. It's vanity. Putting on make-up to go pick up the mail at the end of the driveway, being too busy shopping to pick up your mother at the airport, and flat out thinking that you are a level above the common people. The truth is that in my experience, a majority of the people that I know or have met are not "High Heel Sleepers".

Barefoot in Public:
(I have to laugh at this description, because it's probably much more likely than the first, but bear with me and see where I'm going.) Much more common in my experience, but just as dangerous is Self Neglect. Having NO CLUE what size dress or pants you wear, going gray and frizzy because you "aren't worth the trouble", and letting people walk all over you are all examples of extreme self neglect.

I think that most women are smart enough to see that living life vain isn't a healthy choice. However, I must admit that I can't say the same about the other extreme. It seems as though we somehow tell ourselves that doing without and putting ourselves last is always the right choice.... This is the muddy area that I mentioned before. Is it right to put our childrens' needs ahead of our own? Well, any mother will tell you that it is. I'm not suggesting that we neglect our children. What I am suggesting is this: Our children are watching us. They are learning from everything that we say and do. Too many women fail to see the beauty within them that God placed there. I know too many women that don't think that they are worth a new pair of shoes. We somehow believe that we are martyrs of some sort and that we are being humble and selfless, and too often this leads to self neglect. I hope you are following what I mean. Being humble and selfless are admirable traits, but sometimes they aren't the issue at hand. Sometimes the issue is loving yourself enough to buy something pretty for yourself. Sometimes the issue is just letting someone call you beautiful and accepting it. Our daughters and nieces and so many other young girls are watching us! I for one delight in seeing my 3 year old run to the mirror when she is wearing new clothes, or dressed up as a princess as she exclaims, "I look beautiful!" She isn't being vain, she is being honest. Why are we afraid of sounding vain, but not of sounding full of self pity? We vocalize about our wrinkles, our gray hair, our extra pounds and our ratty clothes. Obviously, the hope for others to relate or reassure us comes to mind. But hold on to your seats girls, I'm about to break the cycle. I'm giving you permission to say that you are beautiful...because you are!!! What?! You don't believe me? Well read your Bible then. 1Peter chapter 3 tells us about our inward beauty. I can honestly remember reading that chapter once and feeling like God was calling me beautiful. (sigh :) What about the fact that we were "fearfully and wonderfully made"? God didn't use a grab bag when He made you! Read my favorite Psalm (139) and remind yourself that He carefully designed and knit you together in your mother's womb. God is TRUTH. His word is TRUTH, and His word calls you beautiful. So be honest like my daughter.

I am an independent distributor for a wonderful jewelry company. I love my job. The company honors God and is successful because of it. One of their main objectives is: "To enrich lives". So, it isn't about the product really, it's almost a fellowship at times! I get to help women feel more beautiful, and I LOVE IT!!!!! Whether they purchase a piece from me or not, I get to laugh and smile with them. Share my love and some brownies too! ;)

During my time as a jeweler, one thing that I have found to be true is that the way that I dress ABSOLUTELY affects how I feel, and how I behave. It has really brought to light the "middle" that I try to live in. I didn't realize just how far to the "barefoot" side that I was hanging out. What if I'm on to something here? Think about it: If we neglect ourselves and dress dumpy everyday we may just end up feeling... well, dumpy. The next thing you know, you sort of think you ARE dumpy, and you don't even realize that you think it. It just becomes a part of you... And all the while, there is that niece watching how to become a woman someday.

I'm not trying to come down hard on anyone, I'm just trying to open some eyes, as mine have been. Just as I wouldn't want my children to learn to speak profanely or abuse others, I also would hate to see them grow up without a balanced scale in the self-worth department.

I absolutely love my cute shoes and pretty earrings, but I am not wearing them to bed ladies! I will walk barefooted in the mud in the backyard during playtime and then wear my adorable pointy toed heels and matching handbag to church the next day, wishing that women still dressed in lovely hats as well. Ahhh yes, I like it here in the middle. Join me, won't you!?


  1. Another awesome blog!!!! Totally agree how, what you wear totally affects how you feel! I also wish women still dressed in lovely hats! My Grandma always had her hats and lipstick on for church, but still wore her overalls and work gloves in the yard!!! What a perfect balance to have!

  2. This is absolutely true. This discussion comes up among feminists, and some of the older generation tend to view anything beyond basic hygiene as attempts to adhere to male standards of beauty. I think this is nonsense. We do feel better when we like how we look, and how we look is also self-expression. Even when I'm home alone with Wicket, I like to put my earrings on! That's probably unsurprising. But you're right about balance, too. I wrote my dissertation in a ratty old flannel shirt and my glasses, which I wore daily for months. Don't tell anyone! It'd ruin my reputation as a vain clotheshorse.

  3. And I tried to find those shoes for you. Impossible!

  4. Laura, I'm so glad to help you spend some nostalgic time thinking about your grandmother. Thanks, as always, for reading! You constantly inspire me and make me smile.

    Tara, I laughed twice! I had no idea that you were such a clotheswhore! I haven't heard that term in a while. Yes indeed, a good laugh.

    Also, the shoes thing. Yip. They just weren't meant to be I guess. I keep telling myself that they would have hurt my back anyway, and that they didn't have enough red in them. It has helped. I no longer wake up crying in the middle of the night. ;) Thanks for reading!